Juleen Ross' Obituary
I am Steve Ross, Julie’s husband since 1996, partner since 1994, and this is something I did not expect to write, at least not for many years.
We live in a rural area and on Monday, September 8, 2014, after heavy rains, we were on our way to a wound care clinic for her leg. To get to the highway, we have to cross a wash, and we didn't make it. Our car was swept away and traveled, flooding, far down the wash, eventually snagging near one bank. We both got out, but a wall of water hit us and took us into the current. I nearly drowned. She did not survive.
Julie was a loving, kind, humorous and generous person. Born to a conservative Indiana farm family (the Karigers, of Warren, IN), Julie grew up active and strong. Her mother died from “placenta previa” when she was about two. Her beloved “Mothers” and Grandpa raised her for a couple of years until her father remarried, but her stepmother was a challenge in every respect. Julie grew up feeling like an underdog, and in later life became politically progressive and assertively out-spoken for liberal causes and for people everywhere who suffer.
She became a high school teacher of home economics in San Francisco. With great feeling she often told the story how when she first started, she wasn't the best classroom disciplinarian. One rowdy day, one of her students suddenly stood up and shouted, “Y’all be quiet now!” which took care of it. That young man was O. J. Simpson. To the moment of her death, she believed in his innocence.
Julie had a serious health challenge due to exposure to toxic chemicals in 1989 in the building where she was teaching. Pesticides were the main culprit. Due to this, she and the teacher in the adjoining air space, both developed an environmental health condition known as “Chemical Sensitivity.” Julie’s first symptoms were small seizures, but since she didn't realize what was wrong and continued teaching (and who knew, back then, about environmental illness?), in short order she developed severe fragrance sensitivity, then sensitivity to products with petrochemicals, difficulty processing information, fatigue, and finally took disability in 1993. Because she could never “prove” how she got sick, she got no worker’s compensation. Her seizures changed to gran mal in 1998 after another pesticide exposure, which also affected my endocrine system. She eventually required two hip replacements and had recently developed severe lower back problems.
She was a naturally stoic person and did not often complain. But chemical sensitivity is an illness of attrition. She was a tremendously social and outgoing person, smart as a whip, loved to read, would visit with friends and family whenever possible, and especially enjoyed art museums. One by one she lost the ability to do these things and be around friends or even family who used the everyday products that hurt her, such as fragranced personal care products. Her kids and some other people understood and stopped using these products. Most didn't. Even a small amount of perfume would knock her out, and pesticide exposure would trigger delayed seizures. Next the chemicals in printer’s ink and paper stopped her from reading books, newspapers, and magazines (thank goodness for the advent of eReaders!). She became unable to enter public buildings, movie theaters, or any events where she might get exposed to pesticide, fragrance, formaldehyde (found in most all new clothes, furniture, etc.), or other petrochemicals. Medical waiting rooms were dangerous, but of course she had to see her doctors. Finally, in 2000, she went to the Environmental Health Center, Dallas (Dr. William Rea), which she believes saved her life. He was able to treat her and teach her how to cope and protect herself. From then on, her main contacts were other chemically sensitive people in Tucson (see www.healsoaz.org).
I took time writing this history to indicate how difficult and challenging a life she had, physically. But she was very happy. We had a great marriage. We ended up in Tucson after a housing crisis in Petaluma, CA. A new roof proved toxic and she could no longer tolerate our house. After doing thorough research, we settled on Arizona and I hired a contractor to build us a chemically safe home out in the desert in southern Pinal County, about an hour away from Tucson proper. This home was her safe haven and her health improved, but whenever we went into town, she paid a price. Ironically, it was because of our rural location that we had our accident in the wash. And even more ironically, my life for the past 20 years was dedicated to her protection. Her safety. If Julie had felt threatened by the wash, she would have spoken up and we would have turned around. Neither of us thought it dangerous. Neither of us knew enough to assess the danger properly.
No one can know how much we loved and cared about each other. I was utterly dedicated to her, and her love for me was extraordinary. Even my mother, in her last year, told Julie, “Now I can die peacefully knowing that Steven has found someone who loves him as much as I do.” It just doesn't get any better than that.
I would like to invite everyone who knew Julie, or knew of her, to join us on Saturday, October 18, 2014, at 2:30 pm for her Bay Area memorial. We’ll gather at the Covenant Presbyterian Church, 321 Taraval St., between 14th Ave & Funston Ave in the West Portal district of San Francisco. The phone number is (415) 664-5335.
What’s your fondest memory of Juleen?
What’s a lesson you learned from Juleen?
Share a story where Juleen's kindness touched your heart.
Describe a day with Juleen you’ll never forget.
How did Juleen make you smile?